In this freakishly kewl world of mine....

Warning: this post may contain disturbing ideas. the writer at that moment was high on stress and had gone slightly mental. the sensitive and easily offended are requested not to read any further for their own safety.
Read at your own risk...
Soooo..... you think you're brave enough to read on, well then i must say, brace yourself, cause you're in for a hell of a ride....
Allright, now im startin to exaggerate just a little...im just messing with your heads.
Paranoia has seemed to creep into my half empty or wait..half full...(??)brain of mine...somebody save me!!!
And if u were ever curious to know what the effects are of listening to the Black Parade non stop, well this it...absoluuuutteee confusion, madness and love and hatred and the desire to rip someones hair of their skull and kiss someone so hard that you'd leave a permanent forever wet impression that would taint his soul for good....oh, let the Good Lord help me at this time of of...i have no words to decribe it.
Wats gotten into me, that i dont know...i dont know who to blame here...but i love it, i love this feeling, when things necessarily dont have to make sense, when you just want to scream out for the whole world to hear, when people stare at you and it doesnt bother you, infact you enjoy the attention. its when u ''unleash the monster within"!!. try it, put on your favourite song and rock it out, swear if u want to, scream if you have to, do what you must to feel good.
I would dye my hair purple, get a tattoo(s), peirce my eyebrow, work part time at the petrol station ...i would want to do anything as long as it makes me feel good...as long as i go to bed every night feeling satisfyed ...time as we know, does not wait for anyone. so ladies go peirce your bellies and dear gentlemen, well honestly to me, i would consider a man a real man if he has the nerve to peirce his nipples(!!!) yes, take while to digest that line...dont think of me with disgust, had i not warned you earlier...i speak nothing but the truth, i speak exactly whats going through this muddled up head of mine...
Well if you have a problem with that, then thats fine, i can live with it... u see, life isnt worth it if u arnt ready to let yourself go, if you arent ready to challenge yourself...i choose to wear torn stockings and black nailpolish, i choose to stand at the tip of the road and feel the air blow through my hair when a car rushes past...
Take risks...make mistakes...break the rules..for it is then that you become complete, it is then that you are called human....
As for me, is my life complete?..no, i still have a long way to go. i cant do much now, except for pray for a tomorow and when it comes i shall do what i feel is best...i will live my life my way and you shall live yours your way....
As ive said before, be good to life...Dont punish it, dont punish yourself for not living it the way you want to...take every breath as if it were the last and make evry use of it...
So whats the agenda planned for myself, hmmmm...i was thinking skydiving, sounds interesting eh, but first i think ill just try coloring my hair purple (check).. i think i can wait before i throw my life away (literally) from a plane praying my parachute doesnt bail on me ....
suicidal death wish some might call it..but fer me? its just a lil bit of some hardcore fun & living..

Dear Brothers & Sisters...

Tired...hungry...sleepy...i shoved my house key into the keyhole with the little strength i still had left...i opened the door to an empty living room...not very welcoming...but wait...there she comes, my little darling, she rubbed her head against my calf, im forced to smile. i drop my bags to the floor as though they were heavy weights. i scrunched my back, making sure i still had a backbone after carrying those Godforsaken school bags...i swore under my breath...
She meaowed softly and licked my sweaty hands, it caused the hair on my neck to stand. i looked into her sea-green eyes, so much innocence...i suddenly felt at ease. i carried her in my arms as if she was a little infant, i plopped down on the sofa and stroked her head...my lil fluff ball i called her, she was the only living breathing thing that existed in my lonely home apart from dad ofcourse...but he always showed up late from work...the poor man...for the rest of my darling family, mom with brother in bangalore and sister dearest in bombay...not the best arrangement for either of us, but sacrifices have to be made...how i miss all of them...im fed up with the food, with the dead furniture i see everyday, the overwhelming silence that fills my house except for her occassional mews...i hate it, i hate all...
My social life has come to complete halt with the dreaded exams on its way...my friends are to busy studing than worrying about me, boyfriend, ha, why bother (!) i have no one to talk to, talk to my dad..i dont think so, mom.. nope, brother..never, sister... well maybe, but the distance just keeps us farther apart.
How i miss b'lore, its amazing weather and my beautiful house there, how i miss home..it may seem unfair to dubai, being born here and living here for the past 10 years of my life, but those four years bangalore were great...a totally different experience...life in dubai during my first few years was perfect, the hole family was here, good marks in school, everyone was happy, absolutely no worries...then flew to b'lore...and my life changed, might have been for the good or the bad. poor dad was stranded in dubai, it was just mom, sis, bro and moi...it took a while for us to get used to the junk on the road and the heavy pollution and lets not forget the cows and the stray dogs, b'lore isnt anything without them, they ruled the roads and streets!!...i grew in b'lore...had my first actual crush, had amazing set of friends, got on the back of bikes, learnt how to drive one, got into trouble inumerable times, failed in tests, it was in b'lore that i learnt the importance of breaking rules, of getting hurt, of losing things and finding new ones, i spent my first few starting years as a teenager in b'lore and its taught me so much, for that im so thankful...
but now im back in my hometown, the fast moving dubai, the 1st class cars, the hep women in their boots, its then i miss the women of india in their old fashioned saris and chapals(!) now... my family is 100o miles apart from each other and it all comes down to me, in this lonely house in this somewhat sad place...
So the question is dear brothers and sisters, can a 14 year old survive with her music, her cat, the tv, her favourite books, decent food and phone calls everyday from her worrying mom, in her boring household...
hmmm...well i seem to be doin fine...so i gess one can survive...may not the be the best, but its like i said, sacrifices have to be made...but things will get better, it always does...moms coming in three days...that means no more food from outside and some serious TLC!!! now all i have to worry about are gettin through these examas with some satisfying marks after which ill be flying to b'lore leaving this place for a whole 2 good weeks...
so i gess life isnt all that bad as it seems...this post goes out to all those fed up kids who come home everyday to an empty house with no family and no life...just remember if you're good to life then life will certainly be good to you...
Till next time folks, keep breathing and pray for a tomorrow. God bless you...
Adios Amigos...

So much..yet so little...

most of you might be familiar with the title of my blog...life or sumthin like it?? yea..its the title of a movie with angelina jolie acting in it, its quite an interesting movie and not to mention, jolie decides to go blonde in it, for the second time, not a smart move, i thought the she looked far better in gone in 60 seconds...anyway, i apologize for my casual style of writing, as you can see i didnt bother using caps...after reading a couple of blogs, i feel as though mine is of no comparison to the rest...but never the less, i intend on sharing something with those of you who have generously decided to read my blog...
The reason why i chose this title for my blog is because i happened to be absolutely fascinated with its meaning...its ironic though, as till date i cant really tell what it actually means. life or something like it...you can ponder on for hours as to what it might mean...life... *sigh* theres so much to it...so much..yet so little...there are those who who suffer and those who havnt yet experienced true sufferage...the rich and the poor...the good and the evil and its never ending battle...i could go on the philosophies of life and bore you out of your minds...but i shant take much of your good time...but i just feel that i should say that after reading this, take a while and try and figure out or just think about life, about how it works, the people involved or even those who arent...itll leave you amazed...confused...worried....
Its a weird world we live in and theres so much we dont know and its that fact that keeps us living, the fact that there will always be so much more than we know....
so i guess thats it, hope you all find this remotely interesting...well, till next time, which hopefully wont to be too long from now, being the lazy person i am, i cant really say...
till then, chow...