The Confessions of a Phsycotic

Help me. Save me. Hold me.

Song to listen to : Right where you want me

...Yes, indeed the one by Jesse Mcartney...

*Oh*...stop judging me...

Forgive me...but this is the taste of the bitter words of my even more bitter thoughts...

Shaww...

Much love,
The Phsyced...

[ yes I do not know the spelling...can you blame me...]

Quote for the day : " The greatest thing to learn is to love, and be loved in return " [or something like that] ( call me if you seem to agree with this.. i mean.. CMON!! )

Anybody who figures where this is from, gets million bucks. Guaranteed. Sonia and Mathew dont count.

Oh if any of you are smart enough and know me well, you would realize I dont have a million bucks. So its your call. Well the truth is actually I do hve a million bucks but its been buried along with Charlie Chaplin. Hmm..Now why would i give that out..????????????????????????????????????

! 2nd song to listen to : Icky thump by the White Stripes...killer!!

And so.

And so its been long. so very long indeed. how i miss doing this. how i miss it very much. how im no more 14. but 15. how i feel that some things make a lot more sense now. how people seem more different than they ever were. how i miss those who seemed more real to me than anything else. how i want life to be not joyous and successful and prosperous and safe. but comfortable. how want to live in my all-time-favourite songs. how i want to dance every night just to feel the warmth. how i want to.

In her world....

That hair...those shoes...that accent...that look...and those nasty retainers (:P) that world she lived in...yes, her world...not the most perfect, not always the happiest, not the easiest to live in...but somehow I was safe there...
As she left, she took with her that crazzy world of hers...and she took a part of me too...and I think she deserves to keep it.... I miss her presence...the air that always surrounds her..her own distinct smell of sweet mixed designer perfumes...her constant buzzing here and there...she was just always there....to slap you, hit you, fill you in on her pervy jokes.....or just embaress you...or just pour water down your shirt, or insult you lovingly, or kiss you or hug you or just hurt you...
Though she wined...and fussed...and screamed...and ignored...and of course been a complete pain...shes just the most lovable thing on the planet...
That crazzy woman...who I just happen to marry online :SS...is one hell of a person...Im sure you dont need me to tell you that....

rtandon <3 polaha...

God bless her soul...

and God bless the rest of us to somehow get through this somewhat unbearable phase....

She is loved...very...very much....

And no Im not confessing my love for her (!)...
not that I dont love her(!!)....

aaiiiii....never mind....

IVYNESS....

Passion

Drive

Talent

Faith

and a little bit of...

Despiration... : S

Ladies and gentlemen I give You The Isonephic Valentine....IVY !

What we are??...have a little faith and patience...

Let's just say we're still on the road to discovery...

We're not phonies (sp?)...nope...certainly not...

When you have a group of individuals, each of whose mind sets are so different to other...each of whose talents are exceptional in their own way...each of our own facts and beliefs...our own reasons for what we think is right...our reasons for why we are Radhika, Leona, Menaka, Sonia, Reshma...certainly cant let all of that go to waste, now can we?...I thought not...

But the bond and love and strength brings us together as one...IVY...our goal is to potray what we love doing best...to let the world know that we're not complete useless gits sitting around knitting wollen socks for our future grandchildren...

The world is too big a place...too much...too many...but everyone has their purpose...and so do we..and this is it...

So with your utmost faith in us and your kind tolerant patience...we will be something...what that would be?...tis not an issue to worry about...so dont (!)...just remember to keep us in your prayers...

The rest will fall into place as it should...

So what we are? A productive bunch of talented, hyped, enthusiatic, bright....yati yati yatii.... I could go on forever...but for your dear sake I'll shall stop...

So thats that...

And trust me when i say...

THAT WE WILL BE SOMETHING ! !

Cheers ! ! :D

I am...Numb

The world has lost its ground...its stability...its sanity...its love...its peace
I want to help...
I want to feed every child that dies hungry...I want to love those who haven't been cared for...I want to cry for those who have lost their loved ones...I want to help the weak...I want to bring back the dead...I want to wish those who don't know and remind them of their birthday...
But...
I can't...
I want to help...but I can't...I am dissolving in the world's ruthless ways...I sit silently and watch and I am sad and hurt...
I want to hate those who kill but I want to encourage those who struggle to survive...I want my fellow beings to live in peace...
But I ask for too much...we are living in a tragic story and we are nearing the last chapter...God reads along, watching his creation crumble away into destruction...unhappy He is...
I want to be able to care...but I don't anymore...there are too many people dying...too many people suffering...to many people unhappy....
I want to feel for them....
But i am numb...

Ms Huggable :)

Yes, that would no doubt be moi!!...well this a fun and cute post...n i must remind you that I did not write this!!....this was an adorable though slightly kiddy poem dedicated to me!!....simple but touching...read on and enjoy....

For Reshma

Reshma is short,
and plump,
and pretty.
But I wish she'd give up slimming

She says she can go on liquid diet (!),
and give up all her flesh.
But I say, "if you drink nothing but fluid...
I'll turn you into mesh. (!)

Shes said she wouldn't mind that,
cause at least she'll be as
thin as a lid
But then I said, "I DID" !! (??)

It's a little sad sitting around her to eat
one of our many high-calorie treats,
with her eyes brimming,
while we clear our spuds and trimmings,
But for her, she thinks her diet biscuit
is hard to beat (!)

Reshma is short,
and plump,
and pretty.
But i still wish she'd give up slimming.

(For selfish reasons I agree) (!)
But I phantom it hard to see,
cause Reshma says she looks like
someone sat on her,
But I say we like Reshma with
a little bit of FAT on her!! (!!!!)

The reason why i put this up, simply cause i think its the sweetest thing ever!!...My friend decided to stay anonymous (No shock there!!...sOOrryyy...jus kiddin :P)...well what can i say...THANK YOU YOU!! LOOVED IT..so what do u think??

Lets cross over to the world where the lush green grass grows...i hear they have chocolate chip cookies...

Lets all burn our sadness for good..lets not drown along with the ashes, instead we shall watch them sail away into the vast endless bountiful ocean...lets all wear our pretty skirts and shiny red shoes and dance away to a song we love...that has no end...lets close our eyes and sing...can you hear it ringing in your ears..la la lalalala lalalala....we could take a road trip to nowhere...and ill be your map...
We shall go apple picking and then bake the best apple pies and we shall eat to our heart's content...let everyday be a lovely Saturday and lets play with our love like it were just a child's game...Shall we promise to be children forever and not let troubles reach us?...and then we will sleep and not let time wake us...sssshhhhhhh...sleep...dream...breath...forever...the stars will always shine for us...
Whoops! But look what has happened! Ive fallen and Im still falling...funny...Will you be there to catch me?...I'm waiting...still am...but you weren't there? where d'ya go?...no matter, i forgive you..but only because i love you too much...yes, i am hurt, but my pain has lost its voice, for i love you too much...
Family...Friend...Lover...I love you too much...so lets hold hands and cross over to the world where the lush green grass grows...lets chew on very crumb of that cookie and let it melt on our tongues till we cant taste ourselves anymore...somehow chocolate never tasted sweeter...
Life never seemed sweeter...

p.s: incase your still trying to figure the meaning of this post, its to let you know that sometimes its important to drift away to your own happy little world..sometimes we could do with change and take a short trip far away from reality...trust me it'll do you some good...

The Life of a Dead Man

Tis a poem i wrote. not a happy one, slightly depressing and kind of clichéd, you know...the usual stuff. the misery of a man...shall not elaborate anymore..will leave you to judge it...and i dont have any issues with you being completely honest...so write what you must and comment with heart's content:

A Walk through Central Park

Walking through Central Park,
Something I rarely did.
I sucked in the nights cold air and it hit me hard in the chest,
I felt heavy and slowly I drifted away...

Time had not been good to me,
Days flew by, quicker than I could understand,
I cried in my sleep, my poor distressed self,
There was no one who would cry for me, but myself.

He took them away from me, both Wife and Child
And with them He took away such rich love...
I was now a man of stone, every tear I cried meant nothing to the world, and as i had feared, meant nothing to me anymore.

Life then had no meaning, I lived for the sake of living,
Wondering why He kept my heart still beating,
There was never a day I did not hate myself for being alive,
For why my eyes could still see and hands still feel...

But i had to accept, i was still a part of the breathing, the living,
I had to make sense of what was going around me,
I had to fall in place among the lovers and the hopeless, the content and the ignored,
I had to , for I am both blood and flesh...I am human

Soon, I knew He would take me too,
He would reunite me with my loved ones,
Till then i shall wait and still take my walks in Central Park,
Slowly waiting...breathing...hoping, Will that time ever come?

---------*--------*---------

Well...thats it...thnx to Sonia for all the minor changes :P and hopefully you'll come across my poem sometime later...now go on and comment away!!
(p.s ssry i took for ever to update my blog!! i warned you that i was lazy!!)